A traumatic episode which dates back to the 90s and which she evokes for the first time 25 years later in her autobiography Spinning Plates, to be released on October 7.
“It’s telling: when I wrote this book, this story was the one I wrote first. Returning to this room and at that time when I felt I had no voice, I can now give myself that voice.Writing her autobiography was a cathartic experience for Sophie Ellis-Bextor. The British singer reveals that she was raped when she was 17 by a 29-year-old man. A more than traumatic episode that she evokes for the first time 25 years later in her autobiography Spinning Plates, to be published on October 7, and whose DailyMail published the most striking extracts.
A sordid story when she was still a minor, and which involves a man to whom she prefers to give the first name Jim. A musician she meets after one of her first concerts. “He seemed to like me.While she is a history student, (which she clarifies to Jim), he offers to take her home to show her his history books. “Probably the dumbest dating technique in the world, but I took the taxi with him to his apartment“says the young woman.
This is when the man takes advantage of the situation:Jim and I started making out and before I knew it we were on his bed and he took off my panties. I heard myself say “Nope” and “I do not want”, but it made no difference. He didn’t listen to me and he slept with me and I was so ashamed. That’s how I lost my virginity and I felt stupid.”
Educate the younger generation
According to the now 42-year-old singer, known for her hit Murder On The Dancefloor released in 2001, the toxic view of consent at the time did not help the young girl that she was to realize what had happened to her: ” The way rape was talked about had nothing to do with consent – it was something you associate with assault. But no one cornered me or yelled at me to make me obey, so why should I feel so violated? I thought so much about why I wanted to write about this topic.»
In the meantime, the women’s voice liberation movement MeToo has been there, and the vision of consent has largely evolved in society. “My life is happy now and I wouldn’t say I felt too traumatized back then, and yet I feel like the culture around me, the things I’ve seen and read and the way whose gender was discussed made me believe it wasn’t a real deal.»
Rather than looking back, the singer now wants to focus on the future, educating the younger generation. A pedagogy that begins with her five sons, to whom she raised the issue of consent, to raise “caring and kind people who can consider the feelings of others. I want them to actively want the other person to be happy too, rather than just stopping because they have to.»
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Sophie Ellis-Bextor reveals she was raped at the age of 17
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