Alain Chabat Prime Minister, Dewey Minister of Justice…: here is our dream government

As Prime Minister: Alain Chabat

He has the stature, the respondent, we would even see him as president! Observing the French political landscape, one cannot help but believe that a little absurdity would relax the political tension a little. That said, when you remember that the two biggest parties in France are on fire and sword, then the fact that the exits of our politicians are so amazing, then you say to yourself that it is not so absurd after all.

Department of Agriculture: Snoop Dogg

We all know very well that Snoop Dogg would have THE solution to sustain French agriculture, and at the same time export it all over the world. Let the farmers know the good period they need.

Ministry of the Armed Forces: JCVD

An iron discipline, wise words, an ironclad determination: here is a man who would know how to manage an army. “The big fight is against yourself. Victory is having understood what you want… and believing in it. So convinced?

Ministry of Culture: Luchini

An overflowing culture, and an unlimited imagination, that would do good to this ministry so important for France. We need a man who can read the great texts of our literature, declaim powerful and galvanizing speeches, who can defend certain cultural professions in the event of an unexpected pandemic, for example.

Ministry of the Economy: Valérie Pécresse

We laugh of course. And why not Cahuzac too?

Ministry of National Education: Walter White

When we (re)watched Breaking Bad, we know to what extent Walter White is a brilliant chemistry teacher, ultra passionate about the concept of transmission of knowledge. He just deserves to be listened to poor guy.

Ministry of Higher Education: Dumbledore

France definitely needs a little magic, a hint of golden dust will be necessary in any case to raise the level of national education. Will this magic be enough to solve the post covid shortcomings of French schoolchildren?

Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Europe: Angèle

Just because she is Belgian and her compatriots love to remind her.

Ministry of the Interior: Morgane Alvaro

To remix the codes of the police a little, and bring a more feminine vision but also that of a high potential. In six months the tensions with the police will be settled, we put our hand to the cut.

DOJ: Dewey

The truth comes from the mouths of children, and this sentence was certainly invented by a child, because it is very true. Dewey embodies purity and innocence for over twenty years. After all, we never tried to hand over the reins to someone truly pure, did we? Poupi poupi poupi pou.

Ministry of the Sea: Octopuses

From the Netflix documentary, The Wisdom of the Octopus, we tell ourselves that not only are we doing more harm than good to the oceans, but above all that octopuses would manage the aquatic world much better than us, and are ultimately very aware of current issues. They’ll keep us posted on what’s going on down there, and lock the overfishing aficionados in big glass jars and dry them in the sun. There.

Ministry of Health and Solidarity: Cristina Yang

She’s brilliant and doesn’t care about people’s egos. If there is anyone who can save the public hospital, it is her. We are absolutely certain that she will ask for beds once, not twice.

Ministry of Ecological Transition: Greta Thunberg

It’s just obvious that we have to start getting serious about the environment. Greta understands that. She is also apparently the only political personality on this planet to succeed in being heard by the heads of state of the international community.

Ministry of Labour: Michael Scott

Who better than the “world’s best boss” to head the Ministry of Labor? His enthusiasm will be great to reform from top to bottom, and his perfect cowardice to resist as much as possible in order to protect the rights of workers. Is there a debate on maternity leave? He disappears for 72 hours in his office.

Ministry of Youth and Sport: Jérôme Niel

A good dose of adrenaline and screaming. This is what young people need! The French need Rémi Choré. Nothing like a short but effective exercise every day to fight against excess weight. He is also the only person who can potentially yell at all the young people of France at the same time by live Instagram, if necessary.

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Alain Chabat Prime Minister, Dewey Minister of Justice…: here is our dream government

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